Assalamualaikum wbt…

It has been a several months that i isolated myself from reality, surrounding, and people. Last month was extremely suffocating.

I took a stab to go through with it.

I just started my job exactly as my dream. Nevertheless, just after a few months, i have to let go my daily routines. Several things happened continuously and i tried to accept them. It triggered my emotions and my mental. You think i can think normally? I tried to help myself to cool down by being alone. I couldnt talk too much like i used to. I couldnt put myself at the happy state like i used to. I ignored all messages for months now. I left my texts at seen. I was waiting my time to disappear. No one to understand. Even my lect texted me asking why i didnt replied her. 

Being in Mecca last time was out of my imagination. I couldnt believe myself that i would able to be there in this age. The deeds was nothing without my father and mother in law. May Allah grant them the highest Jannah. I never blamed this fate to letgo of my job for Mecca. I never regret it even a bit. I accepted it but it took time. 

I never imagined that i’ll lose someone that i loved in my life which is my dearest brother, Amin. Ya Allah…i dont know. I just lost words to describe how good he was. It was enough that Allah took him on Friday during Ramadhan. That answered the wonders. Thank you Allah for letting us know him. Allah Allah