After a few times in denying, I realised that I should normalize things. It would be better like this, keeping the feelings, until it fades. If I’m the one who put down the gun, I am the winner. I win the battle without hurting anyone. If I keep showing it, I am weak. I never pray for the bad. I just wanna justice. It stays like that, without promise. And it says, it is not that type. It deserves better.

- m.

I am not complicated.

I am easily to be predicted.

Every day it feels like...broken...

Haha fck

Assalamualaikum.

I always saying to myself that, the last choice that I have to recover my skin is...Accutane.
I was extremely scared to take this decision for my life but I don't know what was going through my mind that day, I was giving up, and directly went to specialist to cure my skin. I was tired, emotionally, and my confidence level was decreased 180 degrees tbh. Since that I got a little penny in my bank, I was not hesitated to invest for my skin + health.

I seek for dermatologist in Damansara. It was AY Skin Specialist & Aesthetic. I spent RM750 for the first time. The Dr explained about the acnes and all. I told him about my antibiotcs-resistance and all also. He said that ab only cures the surface, not inside. He consulted me with the treatments. They got a package for acne for RM750. Without further ado, I made a choice. Then, the facial treatment started. The aesthetician treat my face. First, she pinched and removed all the bumps, cystic acnes on the surface of my face. DAMN ! Can you imagine that? It was hurt as hell. My tears keep falling down. My face turned to red like grill prawns. HAHA. Sick. Rest for awhile. She put cream on my face. After half an hour, Dr came. I got laser on my face. TWO TIMES. HURT as hell too. STINGS too much. That was my first time, so it was tortured I told u. After settling everything, I paid for the service. The Dr gave me accutane for a month and a cream for the post-laser.

I am not lying when I said that my face really dull and gloomy after the laser and still now.

About the accutane, Dr adviced me not to get married and pregnant within 6 months. That was the most important thing he told me before I took it. Fyi, the effects of the accutane is kinda bloodcurdling story.

The effects that I faced when I took accutane was:
- Dryness
- My hair loss
- Dried eyes (cannot long-term in aircond)
- Dried lips
- My gum bleeding :(
- Less oil on my face

I think nothing more besides that. I hope that everything will be fine, Masha Allah. I keep my patience for a long time already... I keep trying.

I was in the 2nd months of Accutane. The photo was weeks ago in my 1st month of Accutane.

I will come again in several months. Thanks for reading :)

Assalamualaikum.

Here is the time, is the comeback for my worrying phase. Day by day passes, and I'm getting scared to face the world. Can I get what I want? This is what I feel after my SPM last 6 years. I cried every day almost getting depressed when I got 5As for my SPM. I was sad because I really wanna study abroad so much. He is the best planner right? After several months, I was moving on. The worst was during my matriculation level. After finishing the 2nd semesters, I could not see my future. All I see was darkness. I didn't know where to finish since I couldn't figure out the beginning.

Damn, my life was a mess previously. Then, here I am today, and the worries come to enthrall me with the jumble.
Help me. 2 months to go for my internship to finish.

To accept something, is not easy as spoken. You may assume that it is nothing but it is actually hurting you inside. I believe, i put trust. And wait.

Assalamualaikum.

This is gonna be short. I'm on internship phase now. Kinda lifeless but I have my 'life'.  Stay positive honey !